Why Fuss about the Environment?

I keep hearing people fuss about the environment. I can’t figure out what it’s all about. The environment has been around a lot longer than humans. I figure it will be around for a long time after we’re gone.

No. I’m not worried about the environment. I’m worried about me.

I have a theory about this stuff. I call it the “Hammock Theory.” It works like this: assume I’m a lazy guy taking a nap in a hammock. The hammock is a rope hammock. That is, it is one of those hammocks made up of a network of connected strings.

Now also assume that while I’m napping, some rascal comes along and begins to cut the ropes. He doesn’t cut them all at once or all in one place. He cuts one here. He cuts another there.

At first, I’m not going to notice anything. Most of the net is there and as good as if it were all there. As he keep cutting, I may begin to notice a pinch here, a hot spot there, but at worst I may just roll over and keep snoozing.

The problem is, I’m no light weight. Eventually, this guy will cut enough ropes that without warning my weight will be enough to just rip through all the remaining ropes. I will drop to the ground and get hurt.

I don’t know about anyone else but right now I feel like my fat butt is hanging through a big hole in the hammock and if I so much as sneeze, I’m going for a bad ride.


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